I Was a Teenage Vampire: The "Twilight" Phenomenon

When Nosferatu, with his bald head, bulging eyes, and hooked fingers, appeared in a woman's room in the night, she would scream in terror. When Edward Cullen, the undead hero of the blockbuster film Twilight, appeared in a woman's room at night, she would try to make out with him. Things sure have changed since 1922.

The rise of the vampire from demonic villain to romantic lead should come as no surprise to anyone in this post-Buffy the Vampire Slayer society. Since Dracula, vampires have proven time and time again to be the sexiest of the walking dead. (Sorry, zombies. You never had a chance.) But even Interview with a Vampire knew that it was a bloody and terrible business to be a demon. What makes Twilight, originally penned as a series of novels by author Stephanie Meyer, so special? It's not about the vampire. It's about the life of Bella, a (seemingly) average American girl.

The story begins with Bella (Kristen Stewart, Into the Wild) moving into a new town with her divorcee dad. She quickly becomes the victim of 'new-girl-in-town' syndrome and is pursued by many of the local boys. She, however, only has eyes for silent and slightly-creepy Edward. (Robert Pattinson, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) Edward has a lot of things going for him. He's smart. He's super-strong. He sparkles in the sunlight. He climbs like a spider-monkey. There's just the small problem that he craves human blood, and none more so than Bella's. Blinded by love, Bella sees no more problem in this than in their 100-year age difference. Trouble arises when some new blood-suckers arrive in town and get a whiff of Bella's Grade-A life juice. Can Edward and his lovable family of 'vegetarian' vampires protect her? Not to give anything away, but there's four books in the Twilight Saga. You do the math. 

I started into the movie expecting it to be a bit cheeseball. What I found was that I liked it. I really liked it. Not just because I'm a girl and can appreciate a halfway-decent romance. The action and effects were staged well enough for many boys to admit, secretly, to me that they liked it too.  The thanks for this goes to director Catherine Hardwicke (The Nativity Story, Lords of Dogtown), who executed the mood and pace of the story seamlessly. The characters are dimensional and the town itself has an ambience that ties them together smoothly. No, it is not perfect. The acting is so-so and many of the shots appear to be posed for the express purpose of looking good on a magazine. However, I highly recommend it for teens, young adults, and vampire-enthusiasts looking for a new twist on the mythology. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it.

AND THE 'NICELY DONE' AWARD FOR BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAST/CREW MEMBER GOES TO....

Film Editor, Nancy Richardson! 

The flawless transitions between music and images is what really elevated this picture from teen-pulp to moody romance. Even the layman will be able to appreciate the montage/flashback scenes for their poetic-execution. Nicely done, Nancy!

*PARENTAL WARNING!*

"Twilight" does for vampires what "Harry Potter" did for witches. If you are not ready to have a discussion with your kids about teenage sexuality or the difference between fantasy vampirism and vampiric cults, then I recommend waiting a few years before allowing them to view it. I heard a worrying story the other day about a group of pre-pre-teen girls at a convention who actually scratched their necks to the point of bleeding because they thought this might attract star Robert Pattinson. I should point out that this is not example of most young girls. Let me say that again. This is NOT most girls. There is no reason to ban a mature-minded teen from seeing this film, but please use your discretion.

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THE 10-SECOND TWILIGHT:

*contains spoilers!*

Bella: I'm new here.

Edward: (glares)

Bella: Who are you?

(Edward saves her from an oncoming car.)

Edward: Er... nobody.

Bella: You're a vampire, aren't you?

Edward: I want to eat you.

Bella: I love you.

Edward: I'm dangerous. Stay away from me.

Bella: But I love you.

Edward: I love you too. You smell like chicken.

Bella: I will never leave you.

James: She does smell like chicken! Can I eat her?

Bella: Hey! Somebody's trying to kill me!

Edward: Told you so! I guess I better protect you.

Bella: You saved me! We can be together forever!

Edward: Yeah, about that.... I still kinda want to eat you. Hope this doesn't cause conflict in the sequel.

Jacob: I think you should stay away from Edward. He's dangerous. Not like me... nope... nothing unusual here... (howls)

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